Zak Bagans' Blog

[Zak Bagans]

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[Zak Bagans]

Entry # 1: What the Hell’s a Blog?

      What’s up, guys? Welcome to my Blog. I’ve been told by a whole crap ton of people I should have one of these. Wow. What can I say? It means a lot that I have so many fans out there who want to read what I have to say on, like, a regular basis. So thanks a lot, you guys. Seriously.

      Alright, I guess I should start out with a little intro. For those of you who don’t know me, my name’s Zak and I’m the host of the show Ghost Adventures. Actually I wear a couple different hats on that production team, but that’s not all that important. The important part is me and my friends go around looking for the creepiest places we can possibly find, bring some cameras and some equipment with us, and try to make contact with paranormal entities. I guess you could call us ghost hunters. I personally prefer the term ‘paranormal investigator’ ‘cause it sounds cooler. But, whatever you call us I’m sure we’ve been called worse, so it’s all good.

      My role on the team is… Well, okay, I should probably back up and tell you how this all started. It’ll make more sense later that way. I never really believed in ghosts or anything. Actually, I emphatically disbelieved, if that’s even a word. Whatever, if it’s not, I’m coining it right now. To disbelieve: the act of not believing. Then something weird happened. Or maybe it was more like a collection of weird.

      I was living in this apartment in Michigan and it was pretty good. I mean, it was an apartment so it’s not like I was living in a mansion or anything, but it was a decent place, decent rent and all that. I thought I was getting a damn good deal on the place. But, there was a catch. There was this woman living with me and she was a really crappy roommate, man. She’d wake me up in the middle of the night, mess with me while I was sleeping – and not in a good way, guys. It was really creepy stuff.

      “But, Zak,” you might say, “Everybody has a crappy roommate now and then.”

      I’m sure you’re right. But most people’s roommate’s aren’t spirits. This woman wasn’t actually there in a physical sense, but I believe her spirit was haunting my apartment. While I lived there, I had some pretty intense shit happen to me… Can I say ‘shit’ in a blog? Whatever, I’m doing it. I guess this’ll get deleted or something if I can’t. Anyway, that was my first paranormal experience, and it changed my mind really quick.

      So, me and my friends, Aaron and Nick, started going around investigating to try to capture some kind of evidence on camera. In the process, we discovered that although most spirits aren’t dangerous, some of them are real assholes. I’m serious. They attack people, they hurt people, they’re bullies, man. It’s ridiculous. I get that you’re pissed off you’re dead or whatever, but that’s not Jim Bob from Mississippi’s fault. He’s just trying to get a good night’s sleep, and you’re banging on his door. It’s not my fault. I’m just chillin out eating some ramen noodles on my sofa and you’re gonna yell at me and attack me? If these people were alive we’d say that wasn’t right. Why is it right now that they’re dead? Uh… It’s not.

      Jeez, I’m kind of rambling a little bit here. I guess I’ll try to get back on track. Long story short, me and my friends started going around documenting our experiences with the paranormal, and it got us a reality TV series. I don’t like to put labels on who does what because I think all three of us contribute just as much to every investigation. If I’m an executive producer, so what? Aaron still gets scared shitless sitting in the dark holding a camera. Nick still runs around with an EMF detector talking to evil spirits. We all do the same thing, so let’s not get caught up in labels.

      We use a method a lot of people don’t like very much, but as you can see if you watch our show, it works. We use an aggressive, provocation technique to draw the spirits out. Keep in mind, we only do this when we believe there is an aggressive spirit lurking. I have come across many spirits who don’t respond aggressively to my threats, and actually seem to think I’m crazy based on their responses we recorded. I told this one lady to push me down the stairs and she was like, “I don’t wanna.” Hey, I didn’t know she wasn’t wanting to push me down the stairs. There was an evil spirit hanging around in the same area, and it’s not like I can see all the different ones hanging out. I’m not saying the method’s perfect – I’m saying it gets a reaction, which is all I’m trying to do.

      That brings me to my next point, which is sort of a disclaimer. Me and my friends are documentarians and investigators. We have some fancy equipment, and we’re not afraid to stand up to the spirits other people run screaming from… Well, sometimes Nick runs screaming from them, but his ass is locked in so he can’t run very far. We provoke and document the reactions of spirits. We are not in the business of ridding your place of hauntings. I don’t even know if it’s really possible to do that. So if you want to get rid of a ghost or an evil entity, I recommend calling someone who can do that for you. Like maybe a priest. Be careful, though. There are a lot of bullshitters out there who just want to scare the crap out of you and take your money.

      Also, if you think there’s a malicious entity in your residence, but it hasn’t done harm to you yet, you might not want to call us. Not that we don’t want to help you, but all we’re gonna do is come in and piss the thing off. So, if it’s not pissed already, bringing us in might be the opposite of help. Like I said before, call someone who knows more about that aspect of the paranormal and can help you deal with the problem. We’re really more the people you call if the place is abandoned and there’s no one permanently living there, or if you just want to get the word out that your place is haunted. We are not the Ghostbusters, and we don’t claim to be.

      To wrap this up, I’m probably going to use this blog as like a journal. I might post about some experiences, stuff I find interesting, or just random day-to-day thoughts. Feel free to leave comments. I can’t promise you’ll all get a reply, but I’ll definitely read every single one. You guys rock.

- Zak

Note from the editor: The title of this blog has been changed to reflect the poster’s actual knowledge of blogging. Also, disbelieving is, in fact, a word and was not coined here by Zak Bagans. (Disbelieving: to have no belief in; refuse or reject belief in.) However, it should be noted that Zak did get the definition right, so he at least knows what the word he didn’t think existed means. – Editor

P.S.: Hey, shut up, Nick! I do too know what a blog is! And good for you for having a dictionary handy. I’m on my laptop in a motel room, dude. Where the hell am I supposed to find a dictionary? And you’re damn right I got the definition right, asshole.

Definition of disbelieving was found at dictionary.reference.com/browse/disbelieving – Ed.

P.P.S.: … F*** you, dude. You’re totally getting locked in the creepy ass basement by yourself at the next place we visit.

COMMENTS

Nick Groff says

Dude, you're totally spazzing over a dictionary reference. Don't you have better things to do? Like, maybe you should put something in your blog about what you do in your motel room when you're not on your laptop. Well, maybe while you're on your laptop too. When not looking up words like disbelieving.

- Nick

P.S.:

I do not fucking run screaming.


P.P.S.:

You talk to damn much. Your first blog entry was like ginormous.

Just sayin' dude.

Nick Groff says

Dude. I'm not shoving the show down anyone's throat. I don't have a big ole sign with the your opening monologue on it.

And nice little comment form. You noticed I used it bro.

*makes mental note to steal the comment reply form for his own blog*

Oh, btw... I am not a tool. That's Aaron's job.

P.S.:

If you don't know what btw is. It means by the way.

-Nick, I'm outtie.